What a whirl wind of a worrisome, stressful, and downright no good few weeks it has been. I have been struggling to keep my head above water for a few weeks now. Wait, let me be real honest. I have been struggling to even breathe for the last few weeks. I have had so much on my shoulders the list is really endless, MY JOB, my prayers about the dreaded TAKS test, personal life, my family, my papa bear, my sister and my long awaited for nephew and trying to keep a positive attitude about it all. Although I knew god had a plan the entire time, it is still hard to trust that you are going to end up ok. I have to say god does really in truly have a plan for us all. He sure has been treating me right lately. I am really falling in love with his plan for me. Just when I thought I could no longer take the stress of teaching, (yes I am only 24) here he comes with the plan.
Those of you that see me daily know the struggles of last Friday. I was extremely on edge. This does not happen often for me. I woke up in a stressed mood, went to work stressed, and left my 3rd period class in tears. I was pushed over the edge. This is extremely hard to do to me, but it was done. They part that bugs me the most is that my amazing kiddos did not do this to me. My students never push me over the edge. In fact, they make me happy and never fail to make me smile. It was the pressure of teaching that sent me falling off the edge Friday. I did not just take a little trip or stumble off the edge; I took a straight down, hard, high-speed crash! I just want to TEACH. That is what I love to do. I am so tired of people watching me and judging me. I want to teach because I love to do it, not because I have to score a certain way on a piece of paper. I do not want to play the dog and pony show game. I got through the day because god was on my side though. After my pity party (an entire 3 minutes in the bathroom) I quickly pulled it together and felt god standing beside me.
6th period was my designated time to meet with my amazing principal. She really is one of a kind and I honestly do look up to her. I feel comfortable around her and just at home. The thought of losing that feeling really felt heavy sitting on my shoulders. As we met and talked, I felt god sitting with us and his plan playing out. I WAS SAVED. I am so great full to be returning to C.D Fulkes next year to this amazing campus, family and students. I was so relieved but at the same time in so much confusion. I could not stop thinking about all the other teachers, (family members) that we lost that day. I continue to hope and pray for those who lost their jobs as they are amazing teachers! For me, I lucked out and I thank god for that. That was a HUGE wait off my shoulder.
The dreaded stress of the TAKS test is still sitting on my shoulders but is expected to be lifted the last week of April. I then have SUMMER to look forward to and many concerts and floats down the river in my old stomping grounds. Good old San Marcos! I have one heck of a healthy nephew on the way and one happy happy sister. I cannot wait for the arrival of Easton Thomas Drake. I am also pumped about moving this summer. I can’t wait to decorate with my mom. That is her calling in life and she never fails to make my places look fabulous. Life for me is looking really good. The weight of all the stress is being lifted slowly but surely and extremely unexpected but wonderful things are playing out in my life. I do like the way my life is looking and that plan that god has, wow he is amazing.
